Posted by: thebestthingscomeintwos | June 21, 2009

The Squeaky Wheel

I have one…

Do You? 

My squeaky wheel is my first born.  Baby C.  Stubborn, strong headed.  He doesn’t nap.  He won’t drink his bottle unless it is exactly the right temperature.   It can’t be too hot.  It can’t be too cold.   He does not request his mommy’s attention, he demands it. 

Baby C cries much more than his little brother.  He doesn’t sleep more than a few hours at a time.   He loves to cuddle with his mommy.  

Baby C being the squeaky wheel is really not the problem.  If I’m being  completely honest, am the problem.  Mostly, I enjoy that he is so demanding.   I enjoy spending extra time with him.  I love when he snuggles up against me.   I could spend hours watching him sleep, getting lost in the pattern of his tiny breaths. 

Its not that I favor him.  I have just as much love for Baby J as I do for Baby C.  I enjoy spending time with Baby J just as much as I do with Baby C.   Its plain and simple.  Baby C needs me more, he desires me more.   Baby C is happy with the extra attention and Baby J is content without it. 

It would seem that we have found a pattern that works for everyone.   Two happy babies and a happy momma.   What else could I ask for?  

I can’t help but wonder however, how much damage could I be doing to Baby J?   What problems am I starting now that will stay with him forever?  Will Baby J have issues with affection?  Will he feel that I favor his brother?   Will Baby C have attachment issues and never be able to go to a sleepover or Cub Scout camp? 

What do  you do to maintain a balance between your multiples and how do you know its the right thing?

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Responses

  1. I have a lot of moments about this. As a parent, I know in my heart that I love both of my daughters with the same intensity and depth, even though they’re different people. I struggle with how I’m going to treat them differently without treating them unequally. It’s hard with multiples, specifically because they’re the same age, the same womb, same DNA in some cases, everything.

    Anyhow, I saw an episode of “Intervention” on A&E that had identical twin anorexic women. Their parents were obviously IN LOVE with both of their girls, gave them a perfect life, loved them both the same, always worked to treat them as equals, not to favor anyone. The twins completely acknowledged that their parents were perfect and treated them equally. And that ended up being the problem. I’m convinced you can’t win either way and you might as well enjoy them while they’re young because they’ll hate you soon enough. Sigh!


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