Posted by: thebestthingscomeintwos | July 7, 2009

It happened.

It happened today.  Something I have been dreading.  Something I was hoping would not effect me when it actually occurred, but it did. 

Baby J said it, “Dadadadada.” 

He’s been “ba ba baing” for weeks now.  I knew it was inevitable but I was holding out secret hope that “ma ma ma” would materialize instead.

Here’s the thing:  I know it doesn’t matter.  I know he has absolutely no idea what he is saying, hes just excited that he learned to make a new sound.   The problem is, I know this and it doesn’t make it hurt any less. 

Its a reminder of things to come.  A reminder of the hurt my precious babies are going to have to live with every day. Hurt that I will have no ability to take away.   A reminder of the questions they will ask to which I will have no good answers.   This two syllable word uttered by a 7 month old opened up a whole slew of things I don’t want to think about, but have to consider. 

On days like this I want to keep my babies as they are now.  I can make all their troubles go away by picking them up and holding them.  I am all they need. Much more importantly however, I am all they desire.  . . .

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Responses

  1. Ouchie. Well, you probably know that most all babies say “dadada” first because it’s easier to say. My girls definitely say “dadadadadada” much more easily than they say “mamama.” Only one says “mamamamama,” and totally indiscrimately, and only in extreme meltdowns. Go figure.

    Anyway, I’m sorry. I’m sorry you have to go through this hurt for your boys. Ultimately, it’s obviously best that things are the way they are. You’ll figure your way through. You’ve done an AWESOME job so far. And someday soon, they will really see that you are their superhero. Keep it up, girl 🙂


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